Loving Kindness Meditation and Integral Assessment

For this week, we had to do both a loving kindness mediation and an Integral assessment of where we're at and where we're headed.

The loving kindness meditation had different results on me than I expected. I didn't get a lot out of the meditation itself... I didn't really feel that it expanded my sense of loving kindness. However, I did find that repeating the phrases did occupy the part of my mind that normally wanders during meditation. I think that this could be an important avenue for further exploration, such as looking into mantras. Quieting my mind is often the most difficult part for me, because I try to use meditation to access deeper and/or alternate sources of information than my conscious mind. The problem is that there is often a high amount of mental noise that goes along with the signals that I'm trying to tune into. I think using a mantra may be a way to filter out that noise until the signal starts to come in clear.

As for the Integral assessment, the area that is causing me some distress is the worldly one. What I felt was that I am not currently contributing much outside of my small circle. I used to do more artistic endeavors, such as writing, painting, etc. By doing those things, I helped contribute (in an admittedly small way) to culture. By not putting effort into those activities, I have created a deficiency in the worldly aspect of my life, and it makes me sad to not be in touch with that part of myself anymore. The area that is ready for improvement is the psychospiritual. I have been developing something resembling a personal cosmology based on my spiritual experiences that has been supportive for me. However, I struggle with finding ways to incorporate this into my daily life. This class has emphasized how important and transformative daily practice is, and I think that this area of my life is ready for expansion. I think that daily practice will be easier if I focus on a few exercises, such as maybe a rotation of a few different types of meditation. I think that it will be easier to stick with it if I didn't get so frustrated, which is a common problem in both my creative attempts as well as my spiritual practices. The use of a mantra could help me to become less frustrated because it would reduce that signal to noise ratio.